| Someone once told me that the only thing that separates us from animals is that we are the only creatures willing to destroy each other emotionally, rather than just physically. No matter how good we try to be, somewhere in the caveman part of our brains is the deep-seated desire to abuse the hell out of one another for the simple reason that we can. It hovers in the back of our conscience like a storm cloud threatening to take us over if only we gave it the chance. But the truly disturbing part is that we like it. Or, maybe "love" is the better word. It makes us feel alive in a way that social conformity never can, and the truth, that dirty little secret that we all carry around with us, is that we get off on it. It's the same private fantasy of the priest and the schoolteacher, the whore and the frat boy. We all want to possess. We all want to completely dominate another human being, and if we let that dark part go for even the slightest instant, it will stop at nothing until it has what it wants.
This is what makes us human.
The rules are set against us from the start.
I was at the end of my eighteenth year when I set out for college. I went out of state, mainly to get away from my family. I wanted to be my own person and I didn't want anything to stand in my way. I thought about getting a dorm room, but I had saved up a lot of money from waiting tables, and I got an apartment. It was one of these "commons" style apartments where you rent the room and they assign you a roommate. That way you're each responsible for your own share of the rent and you don't have to rely on meeting someone before you can move in.
My roommate was Tina. She was a year older than me and had been in college for two years. As soon as I met her I began to envy everything about her. Not only was she beautiful, but she knew all the cute boys in the frats. She dressed like I wanted to dress and she was the person I wanted to be: popular, sexy, and independent.
We became friends very quickly, and soon we were wearing each other's clothes and driving the other one's car. We called each other "sister" but in no time I was closer to her than I had ever been to my own sister. I even changed my major to hers, just so we could take more classes together. By the end of the first semester she had set me up with a boy that she used to date, and he spent a few nights a week in my room, just like her boyfriend did with her.
It still wasn't enough. The dark part was getting bigger.
One night, we went to a party for girl's night out. The boys had gone out of town for a trip to the beach, no doubt cheating on us, and it was the perfect excuse for us to go out and get loaded. There were five of us that went and unfortunately it was my turn to be the designated driver. So we all piled into my car and we left for the party. We flirted like sluts and let guys feel us up while we danced. I stayed sober and therefore had less fun than anyone else at the party, but not Tina. I think that she was secretly upset that her boyfriend was cheating on her, even though she said she didn't give a shit. She drank and drank some more, throwing down Jell-O shots like candy. Every once in a while she would stick out her tongue and show me how blue it was. We laughed and in no time she was running for the bathroom to puke her guts up.
I had been around Tina when she was drunk many times before and I knew from that point we only had a few minutes before she was passed out, and then she would be a real problem to get home. Not to mention that the place was swarming with frat boys that would love to take advantage of her if she was unconscious. Two of the other girls had found "rides home" as we always said in what we thought was a secret code for going home with a guy to get laid. I rounded up Keri, the only other one that I was giving a ride to, and together we helped get Tina into the car. Even though Keri lived on the way back to my apartment, she came home with me so she could help get Tina up the steps. By this time, she was completely out of it, and couldn't walk by herself.
I parked and Keri opened the door for Tina to help her get out. I was still putting my keys in my purse, and I noticed something in the rear view mirror, when Keri bent down to lift Tina, she let her hand caress her breast before settling under Tina's arm. I wasn't supposed to see that, but I was shocked, I had no idea that Keri felt that way about women. While I was trying to decide what to do, I felt the beginnings of a stirring between my legs. I was getting wet, and I couldn't even figure out why.
We got Tina upstairs and I told Keri she could sleep in my room, I wanted to stay with Tina in case she got sick during the night. I also didn't want Keri alone with a now passed out Tina after what I had just witnessed. I put Tina in bed, closed the door and undressed to go to sleep myself.
I climbed in bed wearing nothing but my panties, like I usually do when it occurred to me that Tina was still fully dressed. I know from personal experience just how uncomfortable that can be and knew that I had to take off her clothes for her. Besides, the top she was wearing was expensive and she wouldn't want it to get wrinkled. I hopped out on my side of the bed and uncovered her. First I took off her shoes and socks, and then undid her belt. I took off the little see through blouse she was wearing and then realized I had to go farther. She was wearing a push up bra, and it was too tight for her to sleep in. I unfastened it and her breasts spilled out, still bearing the lines from their too tight restraints. I had seen her naked many times since we lived together, but seeing her like this made me feel dirty and again I felt the stirring I had before. Her nipples were deep rose and harder than they usually were. She had been fooling around with a boy at the party, and I wondered if she could still be feeling aroused from that. After all, it was just over an hour ago, and she was passed out.
Next came the jeans. She also liked to wear tight pants because they showed off her ass. I had to pull and struggle to get them off of her. She had started to sweat from the drinks and they were a bit wet, just enough to make them hard to get off. The only other thing she was wearing was her panties, but I had every intention to leave them just wear they were. They were white and cotton and laid flat against her skin since she was shaved. A single glance confirmed my earlier suspicions that she was still horny. There was a giant wet spot between her legs that made the fabric dark and almost see through. They had slipped just a bit to the side when I took off her jeans and now I could see the tiniest sliver of her pussy sticking out the side. I felt my ears go hot, and right then I knew just how attracted to her I really was. My own panties were beginning to get soaked.
There was nothing I could do about it so I climbed back in bed and tried to forget about her naked body lying next to me aroused, and defenseless, limp and unknowing. I tried to go to sleep but the image of Keri running her hand over her breast when she thought no one was looking kept coming into my mind. I couldn't stop seeing myself sliding my fingers under her panties and into her and then tasting her wetness like I had tasted my own so many times. Without even realizing it, I had already put a hand between my lags and was rubbing myself, my finger running backing and forth across my little clit hard and slow. I couldn't stand it any longer. I turned over and looked at her for the first time not as her friend, but as a predator. She was on her side and I turned her over onto her stomach and looked at my roommate. She was helpless and she was mine. Her back still held the fading impression from her bra straps and her panties were riding up her crack. They had to go first and I knew it. I straddled her legs at the knees and began to pull them over her hips. I had to lift her at the waist slightly to do it and when I did, her cheeks spread enough for me to see her ass hole and her pussy spread before me. Even in all the times I had seen her naked while we dressed and while we showered, I had never seen this view. She was still aroused, maybe more so than a few minutes ago and her lips had begun to open, she was practically dripping wet. I moved to finish taking off her panties, and then I bent to taste her. I slid my tongue first over her ass hole then to her pussy lips and at the slightest touch they parted and my tongue was in her. She was so hot I thought she was going to burn me, but I couldn't control myself now. It was too late, I had already crossed that line and there was no going back.
My own panties were now in the way and I took them off and turned her over again. This time she was on her back, easier to play with that way. I put one hand on her breast squeezing and kneading it hard. I knew she would be sore in the morning but that didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered. With the other hand I lifted under her ass and brought her sex to my face. She was fully open now, and her clit was hard as a little pebble. I licked it and I bit it and I whished I had ten more hands to violate her with. The hand under had ass found her little hole and my middle finger was slowly pushing its way in. I took my other hand off her breast, and I didn't waste any time. I pushed right into her wetness with three fingers at once.
Before they were even all the way in I felt the spasms begin to start inside of her. She let out a faint moan that was barely audible and I picked up my pace finger fucking her to make her cum as hard as possible. And she did, in one gigantic explosion of an orgasm gushing wetness and jerking every muscle in her body. I let her fall limp to the bed and began to tend to my own needs. I masturbated with a vigor I hadn't used since I was 15 and the next day I was bruised and sore from my efforts.
I came and relaxed and breathed, limp on the bed, mind clear and empty of annoying thoughts. It came back to me a little at a time and I looked over at the woman, violated and unconscious lying next to me in the bed. She was a tumbled mess of limbs, half hanging off the bed. I went to move her and found the sheets wetter than they should be for what I just did. Her drunken orgasm had led to her relaxing her bladder and the bed was full of her piss mingling with both of our juices.
I put her panties back on and left her like that in the bed. I slept on the couch and wondered if she was would know what I had done in the morning. She never found out, but there was an even greater price to pay. I never looked at her as a friend again. I only saw her as a piece of meat, and I waited for another chance to have her again. In retrospect, she would have probably been safer sleeping with Keri.
And that's what makes us human.
The rules are set against us.
We can never win.