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Dr. Jo,

It has been three months, and I still can't believe what happened..well, also that it happened. I try not to think about it, but when I do, I don't like the feeling it gives me. *It* is the vacation that my friend Carey and I recently took.

Carey and I are graduate students, and during the last week of March, we decided to go to Cancun for Spring Break. I wanted to go to New York City, but Carey had recently broke up with her boyfriend, and wanted to make sure she "she still had it"

I had no idea what that meant, but four months of winter had left me with 20 lbs of extra weight. I'm barely 5'2 and went from an already heavy 165 lbs to a fat 185. What was even more alarming was the weight had seemingly gone straight to my ass and boobs. I was now an F cup! The idea of strolling around in a bathing suit was not exactly comforting to me. Whatever *it* was- I didn't have.

But for the most part, all went well. Carey, who has always been a bit promiscuous; was on her best behavior. She dressed conservative for her, was a good bar girlfriend (not abandoning each other and teaming up when guys approached), and managed to only make out and fondle with one guy.

I managed to meet a few cute boys, and wore t shirts and shorts to the beach, which worked, since it was unusually cool according to the locals. It was the last day, when we woke up, that was the beginning our downfall.

"Kassi, I hear it's going to get in to the high 90's today, we ought to wear our suits today."

"Sorry Care', I didn't bring one" I answered quickly.

"But you spent all that money on tanning the last few weeks, what good is it if you can't keep it"

She did have a point, but there was no way I was going to bring a suit, and wear it in public. My body started out big, and with even more weight, there was no way I was going to flaunt it like a girl half my size could. Carey was no small girl herself, but she was more adventurous than I, and this was more the personality one could expect from her.

Before we headed to the beach, she insisted we go to a local shop, so she could buy souvenirs. I spoke to the store owner, a nice local Mexican lady, while Carey spent 30 minutes buying nearly everything in the place.

When we got to the beach, I understood why she took so long.

"Ok Kassi, lets change before we go on"

"Change what?"

"Change into these suits I bought"

"What?" I demanded

"I bought a suit in the store, and while I was at it, I figured I'd buy you one since you forgot yours"

I should have told her that I didn't forget mine; that I left it home on purpose. But when she mentioned the no return policy at the store, I didn't have the heart. I figured one day couldn't hurt, and that I would just wear it for a few hours. Little did I know what trouble this would cause.

When we got to the changing room, she pulled out the suits and I got the shock of my life- she had purchased two pieces!!

"What the hell is this?" I asked, as I held the pink skimpy material in my hand.

"Those were the only kind they had. I'm sure you'll look good."

"Are you insane?"

I couldn't believe this, she had actually bought us really thin bathing suits, and the bottoms were more like panties, which a g string. Carey's was yellow and mine the pink. We got undressed and tried the suits on. Hers was tight, too tight for her size. And I - I looked utterly ridiculous. I should say *udderly* because my boobs were practically falling out on the sides. The gstring fell in my butt so much, I had to keep picking it out to see. And the front was pretty much see through.

"I can't go out there like this Carey" I said

"Sure you can, and now that we tried them on, we definitely can't take them back" she retorted.

"And it's not like you didn't trim for good measure" she added with a laugh and pointed finger. I also giggled, embarrased by her observation.

We gathered our things, and I went out reluctantly. I felt so embarrassed as I walked on that beach. It felt as every eye was staring at me. And though several guys did in fact look, the reaction was smiles and even one whistle. Ironically, if they had made derogatory comments, things may have turned out different.

We settled in a nice spot, put tanning lotion on, and painted our nails with the stuff she bought at the store. Matching paint to our bathing suits, she really was thorough with this deal.

We drifted off to sleep on and off, and realized it was time for lunch. While eating, we made the mistake of having a few margaritas, and did more drinking than eating- a fatal mistake in the sun.

When we made it back to our spot, there were four guys seated next to us. They took one look at us and two of them bolted over to speak. Ken and his buddy Mike were on each side of us offering a beer.....more drinking (big mistake). The other two came over, and introduced themselves as George and Kyle. It seemed they had two more friends in their suite who were hung over from the night before.

We chatted with the guys about where they were from and the college they atteneded. The guys were undergrads from the same place. Before I knew it, it was 3 pm and I was getting real dark, buzzed and very overheated.

"We're out of beer, but why don't you two come back to our room?" Kyle said.

"I'm kinda warm, I answered, but itís up to Carey"

"Sure Kass' why not"

I should have known things would get out of hand, with Carey. There is no way she could have stayed on her straight and narrow path. Her libido is like a ticking time bomb. But with the beer and margaritas I wasn't thinking straight.

I asked her if she wraps we could wear on the way to the guys place. She said no, but at least I had shaved, and laughed again.

"Kyle's kinda cute, ain't he hon? Carey asked, slurring her words

"Yea, he's pretty hot" I responded honestly, not thinking much of it.

When we got there, I realized how much I had to drank and went to the bathroom. When I came back out, the guys' other friends, Pete and Terrance arrived, just coming back from an early dinner. They were headed out to the clubs, but stuck around for drinks after the others suggested. Then I made a series of fateful mistakes.

When I complained of a possible burn, Terrance produced some kind of lotion, and rubbed it on my back and arms. It smelled sweet as he massaged it in, and he winked at one of the others. He sure felt comfortable touching me, and it's not like I jumped when he did. I probably should have stopped him when he offered to lotion my thighs. But I didn't.

I should have asked for water, given my lack of sobriety and drain from the sun. But Carey, who was visible drunk, handed me one of the two beers the guys had obviously given her. Probably another mistake.

After our beers, I went to the bathroom again. When I came out George met me by the door, and gave me a quick kiss. It startled me at first, but then I opened my mouth to meet his tongue... it felt too good to stop. He broke away-

"See you out there" he said smoothly, before going in to take a pee I'm sure.

When I went back out, Carey was talking to the guys, drunk and making wisecracks. I asked Kyle what was going on. He said they were discussing silly drinking games, slowly letting his arm brush against my back. Carey kept talking, and Kyle let his hand trace down my back, and began to rub my ass, which was hanging out of this bad excuse for a suit. Then he walked away to get more beer.

I was confused by the kiss, and then this fondling of my butt. Maybe I should have said something.

Then Ken brushed up against me, and touched my neck. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike quickly squeeze Carey's left boob. What the hell was going on?

When everyone was back out in the living room, the now quite drunk Carey got loud.

"Bring out that bong, she'll kick your ass"

"Bullshit" one of the guys said.

"No dude, Kassi will kick your fucking ass" Carey yelled.

"What are you talking about Carey?" I inquired.

"Pete thinks he can beat you at beer bonging. I told him how you kicked everyone's ass in undergrad who challenged you at a party"

She was right, I was quite the drinker back then, but that was three years ago. And alone in a room full of guys, was not the place a plump girl in a nasty swimsuit should be doing this sort of thing. Especially given the sexual overtures they were suddenly making.

But now I was drunk, and that rationale didn't crystallize in my mind.

"Yea, I used to be able to bong pretty well" I stated with confidence

"What happens if we win?" George asked.

"They have to show us their tits" Mike chimed in.

"Yea, they have nice tits" one of them said. I was too far gone to remember whom.

"Fine, you undergrad boys won't win anyway, that pussy Pete couldn't even handle his liquor last night", the barely audible Carey proclaimed.

The guys really started to give Pete a hard time. Repeating Carey's calling him a pussy, and saying a girl was going to kick his ass. This had all gotten out of control real quick.

"What happens if the girls win?" one of them said.

"We'll think of something" Carey answered quickly...way too confident in my abilities.

Before I knew it, the guys produced two bongs, and not a can of beer, but two whole pictures. I could not believe I was put up to this. The guys starting chanting and we started drinking.

"Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink" was all I could hear. I guzzled hard, and the Drink, Drink, Drink changed to cries for Pete to speed up.

"Your kicking his fuckin' ass girl" I heard Carey yell.

I kept guzzling, and guzzling, dizzy by now. All of a sudden I heard Pete dropping the tube and the beer splatter on the ground.

"Yes" Carey screamed.

I had won, but mistakenly letting up for a moment, so that the last of the beer overfilled my mouth. Before I knew it, beer had leaked on to my mouth, dripping down my chin and on to my tits.

"She's fucking good" Pete said. "And looks good too" he said, staring at my wet, tanned body.

"Yea" one of the guys responeded.

The mood of the room had changed, and the inevitability of what was about to happen became evident. It terrified me, as I realized for the first time the predicament we had got ourselves in. I felt a wet spot form on my panties, which I'm sure did not go unnoticed in the room.

Luckily, one of the guys spoke up and I thought our fortunes had changed.

"So what do the girls choose in victory?"

Carey responded. "Kassi thinks Kyle is hot, so let's see his big dick"

I couldn't believe she said that. I was so embarrassed and scared again now.

Kyle just stared at me as the guys started egging him on. It was then I noticed the tremendous bulge in his shorts, which seemed to grow more as he gawked at my nearly naked body. When he pulled his shorts down, a big did in fact bounc up, hanging in the air like a flagpole. It was large and pink, with a big fat head, and hairy balls. I couldn't help but be engrossed by it. A sudden lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. My heart beat a million miles a minute. He didn't bother to make a move, and just stood their staring at me, proud of its rigidity. There was total silence in the room.

"Fuck yea" Carey whispered and tossed her bottle across the room, breaking in the corner.

She stumbled over to Kyle, kissing him, and grabbing his dick with both hands, before falling on to her knees and taking it in her mouth. Kyle looked at me while he stroke the back of her head. While this went on, I could feel my the wet spot growing on in my panty swimsuit. My nipples poked through my pink suit. I'm sure the guys could see too.

The next thing I remember, was Pete and George on each side of me,

Pete grabbed the back of my neck, and he and George proceeded to pour beer all over me. It dripped all over my hair, down my face and neck, and on to my tits. I closed my eyes as they took me. I remember Terrance shaking a can of beer, pulling out my panties; and spraying it all down my pussy. The place smelled of stale beer, tanning oil and maleness. It was so intense, I started to faint, but somehow regained my composure.

That's when I began to squirm, saying I couldn't do this. But the guys kept grabbing me, and squeezing me. When I opened my eyes, I realized my boobs had fallen out of my suit. I tried to put them back in, but the guys were too fast, by now pinching my nipples and working on my bottoms. I jerked, trying to get out of their hold, but only managed to have my bottom go to one side, showing my bare cunt to these predators. My wet hair was matted to my face, which strands covering my eyes.

"I can't do this." I gasped.

"You guys shouldn't be doing this to me." I suggested quietly

They didn't listen. They just grabbed my breasts and began pinching my nipples. I tried to foster the courage to scream NO!

"Slow down!" was all I could say- weakly.

I thought back to those classes, where they taught us to scream and fight back. Only we never discussed what to do when you're fully aroused and totally wet, nearly naked in a slutty swimsuit. I should have yelled STOP, when George kissed me and Terrance touched me. I should have yelled STOP, when Kyle fondled me. I should have yelled STOP, to the bong drinking. Most of all I should have yelled No, to Carey when she had me wear that insane bathing suit.

"You won the battle....." I heard Pete say. And then he crouched down and started eating my cunt.

I was wrestling with the other two, but once Pete announced to everyone how wet I was, there was really no chance. The guys grabbed my arms and said that fat whores like us were going to get it.

Carey's suit was off, Kyle mounted her on the couch, while Terrance and Mike were grabbing her tits and fucking her mouth.

When Pete had got me off with his tongue, I was bent over a chair, and the three of them took turns fucking me from behind. I feebly protested when the first cock entered me, but gave up after I came again and resigned myself to what was going to take place.

For the next three hours, each of those guys had sex with both of us. I took it on the chair, in the bathroom, the beds, the floor....even side by side with Carey.

They called us dirty names the entire time, which is hard to refute given our outfits and behavior. I never came so much, and so hard as I did that evening. Carey the Drunk was insatiable and even let a couple of them fuck her in the ass.

I had never even had a threesome, much less this. I don't know what to think. To be perfectly candid, I would have let Kyle fuck me if he asked. The others were attractive as well, and given different circumstances....what am I talking about?

Trying to justify such behavior is hard to manage. Like I said at the outset, I feel very conflicted. I totally disgraced myself, but it felt so good. It is extremely embarrassing, but I never yelled STOP, like I was taught.

I try not to think about it, but just last month I was having sex with a new guy. He whispered I was *so tight* and he was going to come soon. I was much furhter away, so I thought about what happened to me and Carey, and I came like a rocket. He fell asleep and I cried as I lay in the wet bed, soaked from my juices.

How can I reconcile this terrible event in my mind when I can't get it out of my mind?
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