| Authors Note: The story you are about to read for the most part is true. I have lived in South Africa, Switzerland, Washington D.C. and Rome and now am living with my husband near Paris, France. The name I have assumed for my own sexual experiences is "Vixen," the alter ego of a model.
Now I have written different stories about my life; my inner mind and psyche, my experiences and the flaw in my character, my weakness for sex, about how I could have said NO, but I let things happen to me. Perhaps some of you will relate to my real life experiences and sexual desires while some of you will undoubtedly fantasise about them and me.
The story "experiences with my nemesis Nero" was the last story I have written about my lustful experiences, these wicked cravings, wonderful temptations and my need for decadent fun. . If I could only have said NO! These stories were about the things I let happen to me, who I really am beneath my snobbish exterior and expensive clothes.
It also has been fun writing about this and I have enjoyed reading the e-mail's I have received.
During the last weeks I have been on a lovely sailing trip with my husband and I am now on deck looking out of the Ocean watching the sun rise. Sitting here alone on deck I have been travelling through the deep dark recesses of my own mind as well as many conversations with others and concluded that my life has been somewhat out of control.
After all I know who I am, having been raised in wealth and abundance, coming from a prominent family, being self-critical and raised to be the best and expected to excel in everything I do or get involved with.
But if I am honest, I have been on a one-way street called disaster after my last weekend with Nero and his two friends when my husband was away and have decided changes have been made, imagining what could happen when I cross the lines of my self respect again. But the truth is also that I have a weakness for sex, there is no sense denying that.
Since that recent weekend with Nero and his two black friends when my husband was away, all the experiences I have made with different men and women in the past have come back to haunt me, the fun I had with other models at private parties with photographers, clients, sponsors and their friends.
As I started to work as a model, after the first auditions my booker/agent my booker Laura told me when I came to her apartment and shared her bed in the afternoon " I know there is a bi-slut inside, lets bring her out, you just need a little coaching". That I should start thinking about myself as a hot commodity, to be bought and sold, or at least rented and started to take me to a few very selective private parties of important sponsors and clients. Making money and being around people in an environment where everything goes as long as you know who to blow.
Little did I know that she was also involved into BDSM key ring and started to take me to these "parties" and at the first night I found myself displayed for all to play with. Most of the time I dressed stylish often in black lace or chiffon, with black silk suspenders, panties, stockings on 5 inch stiletto "fuck me" high heels. That is why I have chosen " Black_Lace_Vixen" as my id.
At the start of my career, like other models I was willing to use my sexuality, do whatever to succeed and soon with the help of my agent I soon started to become very popular, especial with a well known casting director. At these parties I danced and sometimes after too much Champagne I displayed myself for the guests and did not say NO letting them take me to the basement and let things happen to me.
After the first of "these" parties I started to get invited by some of these rich and powerful men and women who tapped into a part of me that wanted to let go that wanted to loose control of my rigid world. As I slowly danced and stripped for them lust ran through my mind and my body, loving every minute of it being at the centre of attention
Sometimes at these parties I was entertaining the guests together with other models, the best sex I have ever had has been with other women, it feels soo incredible good what two beautiful females can accomplish for each other, it's feels like making love instead of just fucking. Men have no idea how good it feels the touch of another female. Most of the time I find that men use my body and are only interested in satisfying their own sexual needs and not those of their partner I don't know why, but women just do it for me.
One time I was invited with two other friends E and D for a weekend by a very powerful female fashion designer, we knew we were invited to serve her and her guests at a "fem only" party.
At the start of the party I danced for the guests and later I started to dance close with Daniela, touching and kissing, it became very sensual as Eva was led on by our Mistress and unzipped my black evening dress, standing there on my high heels in my tight black silk corset I had been told to wear, stripping me naked except for my black silk stocking and garters, embracing and kissing in front of the guests our hands slowly caressing, rubbing her pussy against mine and finally ending our sensual embrace.
Eva was spreading her legs for me, I was in front of her, my tongue circling and kissing down her beautiful body, devouring her massive tits and biting her taut nipples, caressing her tights as she was closing her eyes as I licked her body, building her orgasm not caring who touched her anymore, deep moans coming from her throat. She is such a beautiful animal and tasted so sweet, gasping for air, her breath coming short and hard, begging "please, suck my clit, make me come, let me come", her moans louder and uncontrolled, sliding my fingers in her wet cunt, screaming as orgasm after orgasm rocked her body.
As D was taking me to large wooden dining table, making me lay over a cold surface my breasts heaving as my nipples became hard beyond control I heard the Designer say "You like this don’t you my little slut?" Her crop punishing me as I rocked back against her the hands roaming over my body faces, our faces melting into one another through my slanted passion filled eyes.
A blindfold was slipped over my eyes and I was only able to rely on my other senses. I felt her palms caressing my ass as I spread my legs wider opening myself for her. My desire was shown to everyone. Eyes devouring me as she worked her magic over me knowing my needs. My cunt lips remained closed still my juices running out sliding down my leg displaying my need.
I moaned feeling different hands from my friends me. I was rolled over on my back displayed open and exposed. My hair and head cascading down the side of the table. Her perfume edges closer. I knew she was watching how my body was used by her guests. I felt something hovering over me, followed by a slaps to the breast, "You will pay for your transgressions slut." Something cool was rubbed across my lips. "Suck it slut suck your Mistress". My mind exploded as I moved up almost gulping her cock down my throat. "That is it slut you suck your mistress’s cock, you like to suck that cock don’t you my little slut?"
She thrust back and forth in my mouth urging me on making me take you fully down my throat. Then I felt someone pinch my clit I moaned against her cock. I could sense the smile on her face. I feel up her thighs moving up to my ass pushing deeper pounding out my throat. "That is it whore that is it, suck it like a good whore." Fingers probed me I could do nothing but buck up to met them. I felt my nipples being pinched and pulled and my breasts squeezed. She was sliding out of my mouth and moved around and suddenly slam into me pounding away at a rapid pace.
"Come on slut give it to me, you give it up to me. Come on who’s whore are you? WHO?" I could not take it any longer and screamed out. "YOU Mistress, I am your whore!" My body raising up off the table before collapsing back against the wood. She pulled the blindfold off of my eyes and I saw that everyone was engaged with each other and watching me. "You have pleased me, now you will please my guests." It were the last words I heard before drifting off with thoughts of the passions which filled my mind..
Much later, Mistress ordered my two sultry friends to start entertaining her guests. I was moved onto my hands and knees in the middle of the room with a spotlight on us, while one of the girls lay beneath me and the other knelt behind me. E was under me, I started to run my hands over her beautiful body, over her massive breasts, softly caressing her pussy. She smiled at me, opening immediately her legs for me, getting turned on as spread her pussy lips ands started to tease her and slid my fingers in her, she started to move her hip up and down, as I was sucking and biting her clit and squeezing her big tits as she started to eat me, but D lovely D put her tongue up my asshole and uuuh! it was incredible. Then the Mistress stopped them and left me confused on the floor but returned both wearing big black strap-on cocks.
Eva got behind me touching me, making me feel her massive boobs and pushed the thick rubber cock into my asshole, she is such a slut. She didn't move but I leant back onto it as it went deep into me. D knelt in front and pushed her own strap on into my wet pussy. It was feeling sooo good, I was just completely out of it, I was getting fucked backward and forwards and it was just sooo good! I was moaning and screaming as both girls filled me and fucked me hard and coming over and over until we all collapsed on the floor exhausted.. This was the first time we did it together in public, it was also a party and a Mistress we won't ever forget.
Now I have written the last observation about some of my experiences, how all these wicked desires and wonderful temptations started and only the few people in my life who have understood and stimulated my insatiable need for sex, my weakness for sex, how I was unable to say NO, how I let things happen to me.
But looking out over the ocean, thinking about my weakness for sexual strong and dominant men, there is also clearly the aspect what could happen to someone of my background, most important to my self esteem if I continue on this destructive road, looking always for new temptations and experiences.
I am even tempted to walk into a hotel bar like Nero now wants me to do when I am back from my holiday in order to please him, but this I have never done this. But the thought excites me to be exploited as a whore, to walk into a hotel bar dressed as a cheap prostitute, wearing a tight fitting black leather outfit that pushes my breasts up showing lots of cleavage. Sitting in a bar by different men and being stared at until some complete stranger takes me to his hotel room to have wild, hot sex, the kind of nasty stranger who treats me like his whore, uses me.
It is amazing how well Nero understands me, he charges I am a arrogant cockteasing bitch, I may toss my long hair and pretend to be a Lady but beneath my cool exterior I have the nature of a passion slave, a born slut, a gangbang sex slave, only happy on my knees and on my back. From his perspective he is right, but not from mine.
The truth is also once I am naked I do as I am told, all those private parties run through my mind, thinking about the fear and being controlled and I start opening my legs again, loosing myself, like I did in few situations during my model days.
There will be no return for me and I will loose all control and direction. This I do not want, but I suppose despite my reluctance I am very good and enjoy it.
For me to realise my dark desires and especially my fears, which are exciting to me, would be a bridge I will not cross again. This has to do with my inheritance, upbringing and education. Looking back, taking a good look at myself, I have realised the time had come to move on. and do something constructive and positive with my life.
I presume sometimes in life, we all get influenced by people and circumstances, which experiences in my case were not always very uplifting, not very civilised at the time.
Sometimes I don't know what is wrong with me, sometimes I can't resist the dark side of my personality, deep inside I crave the attention of strong men, how I like it to be watched by such men, common and disgusting men! How I like to tease them, treating them as toys, like the two gardeners my husband employs, their dark eyes always feasting on me.
I see how they look at my breasts and it always turns me on how such men stare at me, when I let my mind wonder and think what they might do with me, how they would like to punish me, I feel my nipples stiffening and my pussy is getting moist when they violate me with their eyes.
Deep inside I am sexual very submissive, but I am also a very independent and intelligent women with strong opinions, but also a women with desires of a shameless slut, a sex addict, a passion slave for men and women, opening my legs for everyone who wants me, serving those I am told to fuck. When my husband is away and my bed is empty, I have wild dreams again about being taken to a dark back alley in a run down part of town and being used by two or more men.
I wake up sweating and soaking wet in the middle of the night after such dreams. I dream about being made to strip and displayed in public, living in a private men's clubs, being shared and exploited as a perfectly obedient whore by a strong demanding Master, doing pole dancing in a dark bar, rubbing my wet pussy against a brass pole, being bound in a darkroom to a table and fucking complete strangers, being on my knees sucking their cocks, opening my legs for them, doing whatever I am told to do.
How can someone like me, sophisticated and with my excellent upbringing feel that way, when, no self-respecting women would crave this kind of treatment, looking always for excitement and sexual pleasure, being used and humiliated.
My husband has no idea about this, how bored I am getting again when I am alone. How I am starting to miss my model days, the parties with clients, sponsors and photographers loosing myself serving them.
When I have not made love to my husband in two or three days, I become restless again, I feel the sexual animal inside of me, the pent up desires rise in me and when I see how men watch me, I start thinking how they tell me to strip and open my legs for them, feeling the pressure between my legs, I slowly cross my legs and rub my tights together feeling the lust.
Like recently when my husband was away on a trip I was alone and one of his friends invited me for dinner and like my husband suggested I accepted Nero his invitation, if my husband only knew the true motives of Nero for his so called friendship.
After that weekend with Nero and his two black friends I really felt very uncomfortable the way I had behaved again like a possessed woman, how they made me act like a hot, horny slut, who after my first protests needed to be used by these men, treating me like a their whore and I acted as a total slut, wanting to open my legs for them, begging them to fuck me, begging the to fuck my tits, how they tied me up and used me in my own bed, servicing their desires doing everything I was ordered
I was thinking about my kind husband, knowing my husband’s never been able to satisfy me like that, how shocked he would have been looking at how eager I was to serve them letting them humiliate me, feeling vulnerable and degraded, dirty and used, but once they started using my body wanting more and more. But I am also aware of the feeling and power Nero held over me, how he makes me feel like a "bad little girl" his reluctant whore, not able to resist him.
I remember before we met his two business friends, being with him in the dark bar of the hotel Raphael, putting his strong hand on my knee, lifting my tight dress and slid his hand between my legs, humiliating me while the waiter was discretely glancing from behind the bar, making me open my legs for him.
It was soo arousing, almost like foreplay, sitting there in public while his hand was exploring the inside of my tights, stroking me, feeling the animal desire in me rise while the waiter put the bottle of champagne in front of us, opening it while looking at my open legs, at my black moist thong, sending shivers through my body
Later Nero was telling me that he could do anything he wants with me, that my mind is his and that my lovely body is just a bonus. Whenever he wants, I have to accept it, just like I did on my wedding day, that it gives him power over me, power over my husband, taking what is his in a way my husband never can, using his sophisticated beautiful wife in her own bed like a common slut.
Telling me that my husband does not understand my needs, that he can never give me what a slut like me needs. That it will now not be long that I will leave my husband again, he will be waiting for me giving me what I need, a sex slave who wants to serve. That I need a strong and dominant Master who controls me, makes my choices, who can reach inside and take control of me from the inside out, that it is my nature to serve men sexually and by doing so it will make me emotional free.
How disgusted my conservative husband would have been if he knew about my exploits and would have seen me behave like a slut whore in our own bed. How Nero made me obey to spread my legs making me look like a total slut and ordered me to touch my wet cunt for them, asking for it, how I begged his two friends to fuck me with their big black cocks.
How I could not resist the animal inside, the animal that wanted to be satisfied, acting as a slut for those three men, obeying and serving them, using my talented tongue, begging them to fuck my tits, if my husband knew about this, about how easy it would be to turn his prim and proper wife into a passion slave, a slut whore. Knowing also it must never happen again.
But looking back I also had smile at the attempt of the security guard, a sad little man with big dreams, a stupid little men making me aware I have to make some serious changes in my life.
In the end it's basically very simple, it's not like someone said to me that through the loss of my own control I should free my own inhibitions which are imposed by society, the truth is I want to be in control of myself, of my own destiny
When I look in the mirror, I have to like what I see, after all I am a intelligent and independent women who makes her own choices and the truth is that recently after this weekend with Nero and his friends I did not like what I saw and have decided to make some changes, besides I also know that I am still the daughter of my parents, and my background is very dear to me. Inheritance and civilisation play a big part in my life, besides the times of the cavemen have been gone.
I will leave the Nero's of the world behind me, although I cannot discount the possibility that some powerful men or women recognise my weakness to sex and take advantage of my sexual submission and ravish me as their slut for a night, a day or a weekend, delving deeper in my world of seeded desires, controlling me, taking me further down, using me for their sadistic whims, sharing me and make me satisfy the lust of such men, like they have done before.
But the truth is also, that men like Ken, Sir David and Nero are sad little men, like Nero said "All women are whores" was telling for his limited intellectual capacity. Men like Nero or Sir Dante don't realise that women are much then long sexy legs or a pair of great tits, intelligent women like me are more multifaceted then most men and have much more aspects to their personality. It seems that men like that cannot handle this aspect... hence they need force their women into roles, for their only peace of mind....